Ham Dinner

On a recent trip to my supplier in Nongkhai I purchased a properly cured and smoked ham. Weighing in at 9kg, I’m hoping it will sufficiently fill any of you who are motivated to come and celebrate the Candle Festival with us from about 6:30 p.m. on Sunday, July 29. As usual there will be some Thai and other food to go along with it. It will be 150 baht for adults, less for children. No reservations necessary. Come and enjoy!

Why I Hate Hospitals, Runar's Condition

I have always been wary of visiting hospitals. Surely I am not the only one who dreads them. From the moment I pull into a hospital’s parking lot, I reflexively begin to breath in and out in shallow, hurried gasps. My condition worsens as I enter the building. I try in vain to expel the stagnant air from my lungs before those exotic germs found only in hospitals can coordinate their attack. One must, at all costs, deny them access to the sensitive bronchioles from where they would, no doubt, wreak havoc on the entire respiratory system. I make it to the privacy of the elevator only to have it shattered, just as the doors are about to close, by the arrival of two gauze-masked orderlies pushing a trolley upon which a dying man rests. My first instinct is to flee, but the trolley blocks my path. Trapped, I listen to the feeble sound of his breathing; it reminds me of the coffee percolators of yesteryear. Then I notice that his simple, gray robe is adorned with a yellow sticky note. Four lines are penned cautiously in red. I can’t read Thai, but I know what it says.

TERMINALLY ILL

UNKNOWN AIRBORNE DISEASE

HIGHLY CONTAGIOUS

DO NOT INHALE!

Needless to say, I don’t inhale. By the time I’ve reached the floor of the unfortunate victim of whatever ailment or accident, I’m suffering the effects of severe oxygen deficiency. This, I’m convinced, is why people seem oddly euphoric and say silly things when they visit their dying friends or loved ones. My as-brief-as-possible visit concluded, I notice that nurses have begun to huddle nearby in small, suspicious groups, sensing my imminent collapse, perhaps. That you won’t be permitted to leave is, by far, the most frightening potential conclusion to an otherwise well-intended hospital visit.

It was with similar foreboding that I visited Runar a few days ago. As I approached the entrance to the unfamiliar hospital, a woman called out from behind me. It was Runar’s wife. She was carrying supplies of snacks, juices, etc. I relieved her of one of her packages and we proceeded up to Runar’s room. Entering, I was suddenly but only momentarily dumbfounded to see Runar casually walking about. Then I realized it was Runar’s older brother, who bears a striking resemblance. Runar was lying prone in his bed, as I’d expected. He was exceptionally lucid and seemed to be in good spirits despite his condition.

It has been difficult to get a good understanding of what his condition actually is. The aftereffects of severe trauma, no doubt, but both his neck and left arm have been periodically broken and not broken, his left side paralyzed and not paralyzed. It was a good opportunity to glean some more details.

The spinal column is complicated. From what I can gather, a number of his cervical vertebrae have become compacted, “squeezing out” something in between them (the intervertebral discs or disk annulus, perhaps?). Whatever has been squeezed out will regenerate itself over time, I was told. Runar claims that at first he could not move his left leg or arm. He has since made considerable improvement. Although painful, he can move them, and his doctors assure him that he will walk again. However, he has been advised that it will take a lot of time, if ever, to regain the normal use of his hands and fingers. His left arm is probably going to require surgery at some point. It is, in fact, broken. They seem to be certain that the pain in his left hand and lower arm is due to local nerve damage, and not related to his neck problems.

Most of the time Runar is wearing a soft neck brace. The stiff one before was causing him problems with chafing. When he is lying prone he wears the soft neck brace loosely around his neck. Recently they have been letting him try to sit up. In such cases he must wear the stiff neck brace. However, he can only manage a 30-degree incline for short periods. Time will pass more quickly, I think, when he can sit up and read or watch TV.

We also discussed his accident. The police have come to a preliminary conclusion that Runar swerved off the road to avoid an accident between two other cars. Runar can’t remember. We also discussed the possible ramifications when his blood test results are released. Why it is taking so long, nobody knows. Everybody knows Runar was drunk, but it will be interesting to know just how drunk he was.

This is a photo of Runar’s brother giving Runar’s neck a scratch. I’d use his name but it is one of those Norwegian names that a group of five of us at the pub that evening couldn’t remember. His presence, I believe, has been absolutely vital to Runar’s well-being. I admire him greatly. I also admire Yorkshire Bob’s craftsmanship. The “blue mirror thing” you can see in the photo is Bob’s creation. It may be somewhat crude, but it allows Runar to see ahead and make eye contact with his visitors.

Runar's Condition

While I would like to keep things jovial for the most part, it is not easy when the subject is a traffic accident. As some of you may already know, two weeks ago everybody’s favorite Norwegian, Runar, went off the road while trying to avoid another accident. It was around 3:00 a.m., and it is doubtful that Runar was in any condition to drive. He was taken to the Sappasithiprasong Hospital and treated in the intensive care unit. Some of us went to visit him that day, and I must say that Runar did not look good, but the people around him, most of whom seemed to be dying, looked worse. Runar was in traction and he could not move his left arm or leg. He was in a great deal of pain, too. A few days later he was taken to a hospital in Khon Kaen for more sophisticated tests. At first we’d heard that he’d broken his neck, but that turned out to be false. As I don’t know the medical term for his condition (I will let you know when I’m certain of it), I’ll just say that his neck is pretty badly messed up. He’s now got a private room at the Rajavej Ubon Hospital which is just before Big C on your left as you are going out of town towards Amnat Charoen on the main road. His room number is 304. From time to time I will be posting updates on his condition here. Also, if you would like to send him a message, you can email me and I’ll make sure he gets it.

Where have I been?

Where have I been, you may wonder. Well, I did make one trip to Japan, but it didn’t last 4 months. I was unconscious for about a week including and after my birthday party in May. At least I have got a few things done.

Wrong Way Café now has a fairly established menu. It can be viewed as a PDF here. We've also got new hours which "barely" call for a breakfast menu. Our new hours are 11:00 a.m. until midnight, except for Sundays when we try to close at 10:00 p.m.

In addition to the new menus, we’ve got some specials. Not many. So, the “pizza” on our sign is now, after a year, partially justified (they are “Mexican” pizzas which use 12-inch tortillas instead of ordinary pizza dough). The specials menu can be viewed as a PDF here.

My most recent creation is a brochure about Wrong Way Café and what we have to offer. The joviality may be in excess, but it summarizes us fairly well. To view it, follow this link to the Wrong Way Café section of our website, read the first paragraph, then follow the link in the first sentence of that paragraph.

Another Fine Sunday

Sundays have begun to get fairly busy at the Wrong Way. Still, I suspect many people don’t realize we have begun being open seven days a week. As usual, at 10:30 p.m., I attempted to venture out to further my ongoing Ubon Nightlife Research Project, but the Big Boss made it clear that I was expected to stay in the pub on Sundays until closing, irregardless of where the funding for the Research Project originates. Our customers were cooperative; a great many stayed until 2:30 a.m., mainly because I refused to turn off the music and ask them to leave. The Big Boss wanted to turn out the lights and spray them with cold water, but I pointed out the possible ramifications of such an act. Next Sunday the Big Boss will probably suggest I go out on my Research Project so she can close the pub at a more reasonable 1:00 a.m.

The Viking has finally gotten in sync with the bread baking schedule. It took weeks for him to understand that I’ve begun making bread one day and baking it the next. It’s about a 30 hour process. He’s on a healthy, self-enforced, retirement schedule of one night getting completely smashed at our pub followed by one day at home in utter misery while recovering from the foggy exploits of the night before, not sure which fragments of memory were real and which imagined. He would come in on a Tuesday evening and ask me if I baked bread. No, I made bread, I’d inform him. Can I buy a loaf, he would ask. No, because it won’t even be in the shape of loaves until tomorrow when I bake bread. You can have one of the loaves I baked yesterday, I’d offer. But you BAKED bread on TUESDAY last week, he’d stress, on the verge of tears, voice cracking. He’s particularly fond of freshly baked bread, which he hadn’t had in weeks. I would then explain for a tenth time about the unreasonable calendar system we have with the odd number of days in a week, for which I could not be blamed. I suspect that comprehension was not the cause for his getting in sync with the bread baking schedule. It is more likely that he simply got so smashed on Thursday night last week that it took him two full days to recover. His wife came in on Saturday and bought a day-old loaf of bread for him. I can’t remember if he managed to take his freshly baked loaf home with him last night because we were all so smashed.

Valentine’s Day Buffet (Announcement)

We are honored to be hosting a Valentine’s Day Buffet from 6 p.m. on the 14^th at the Wrong Way Café. We’d appreciate knowing you are coming in advance, but you are welcome regardless. Information, including the menu, can be found at the following link in PDF format here.

Blogspot

I'm going to be keeping this at blogspot for a while until I can figure out how to FTP it to my own www.wrongwayhome.com. It sounded easy, but not so for me. Now I'll set up some links.

Ubon Weblog Begins

This is the beginning of the Ubon Weblog.